OK, I did get this from a network TV show, but after 24 hours for it to sink in, I think it’s pretty profound.
And OK, it was in the context of manipulation (get someone to buy a car or give you the sketchy building permit), but it’s still a valid concept, which is: find the key. Find out where the other person is coming from, what’s going on in their life, what matters to them, and go from there. “Get it” first. Get them. Then ask. Maybe the lesson is just get them, never mind asking. What do you think?
Jane's Lessons Learned 
I agree and the universe apparently does, too, because this afternoon, this popped up in the novel I’m reading.
“Every detective, in all the world, knows that this is our best weapon: your heart’s desire…. If we can just figure out what you want – secretly, hidden so deep you may never have glimpsed it yourself – and dangle it in front of you, you’ll give us anything we ask for in exchange.”